How to Deal with Differences in a Marriage

When one gets married, they have incredibly high expectations from their spouse. This is because all their life, they fantasize about the ideal marriage to the extent where they start to believe that everything will just fall into place right after getting married and life will be perfect. The reality, however, is very different and so people often end up getting hurt. The reason why people fail to maintain a healthy relationship is that they expect way too much from their spouse. And when they witness the differences in each other’s personalities, either they give up on each other or they try to change the other person according to their ways. Isn’t it better to embrace each other’s differences instead of changing the other person’s habits? How amazing would it be to start enjoying the differences of your spouse instead of getting frustrated or annoyed with everything your spouse is doing and the way he or she is doing it? Dealing with this issue may be difficult, but it is possible. Always believe that differences can be good if both partners complement each other and try to search for the beauty that is hidden in those dissimilarities. Below, we discuss some ways in which you can deal with the troubles you face with regards to this issue. Take Differences as Differences, Not Deficiencies. We are all different from each other in many ways as God has made us with unique personalities. Always keep in mind that not everyone can think alike, nor have the exact same viewpoints or ways of doing things as others. We are the unique creations of God and we cannot all be the same, no matter what. So, it is better to try and accept the differences of your better half instead of assuming that he or she lacks something that you are blessed with. Make sure that you focus on embracing your partner’s differences instead of thinking of them as flaws and trying to eliminate them from their personality. If you fail to do that, you might end up losing your spouse because nobody can change entirely for anyone, at least not happily. Overlook Minor Issues to Enjoy a Happy Life. Not every minor issue in life needs to be complained about. Life throws curve balls at you at times – you should learn how you can dodge them rather than blaming each other for whose mistake this is or who is responsible for that. Marriage is not about getting all your needs fulfilled all the time. It is about caring for each other deeply, helping each other through tough times, and most importantly, loving each other without needing a reason to do so. Not every day in life can be filled with excitement and happiness; there are some days when life is just monotonous and that is ok. Accept this reality and do not let it become an issue or a reason to get into fights with your partner. Always Be Polite. The most important thing to focus on is that you ought not to be sarcastic, critical or pass negative remarks all the time. Most of the problems in a relationship arise when a person brings up potential issues with anger and sarcasm. Avoid doing that since it is not the right way to deal with problems in a relationship. Talk about things that hurt you calmly and gently because when things are dealt with in a polite manner, you are more likely to solve the issue rather than turning it into a more disastrous or dramatic situation. When it comes to listening to the thoughts of the other person, try to keep calm and hear them out with patience – then present your side of the story and talk it all out to reach a solution. Avoid interrupting the other person to give any kind of explanation. First, listen to what they have to say and then say what you have to say to them. Let Your Partner Follow Their Heart or Chase Their Dreams. Marriages in which one or both partners are supportive tend to last longer than ones which lack a support system. Your spouse must have some goals they dream of achieving. Let them do what they are crazy about instead of imposing your views or creating hurdles. Being a source of strength and support is what distinguishes a great partner from a potentially bad one. Marriages where one person mocks the goals of the other person continuously and does not let their partner pursue their dreams usually end in disaster. Your spouse may not be able to earn a handsome amount of money while chasing their dreams or may neglect their chores ever so slightly, but build them up and support them regardless – their happiness and satisfaction are more important than anything else and will strengthen your bond. Go out of your way to help, acknowledge, and support your partner and make their dreams come true – this attitude will make your partner reciprocate and go to the ends of the world for your happiness. While there are many ways in which you can deal with differences in a marriage, following these tips will lay the foundation for you to start improving your relationship and build a strong bond with your better half.